Wednesday, July 12, 2023

The Jacob Chronicles 5: Sold Out

 

The Jacob Chronicles: Sold Out

A Sermon by. Brent J. Eelman

Genesis 37: 1-4, 12-28 

 

Today we continue the Jacob Chronicles with the 5th installment.  Jacob has returned home and is living in the land that was promised to Abraham, his grandfather.  He has a large family, 11 children, soon to be 12.   

 

Jacob settled in the land where his father had lived as an alien, the land of Canaan. 2 This is the story of the family of Jacob.

Joseph, being seventeen years old, was shepherding the flock with his brothers; he was a helper to the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father’s wives; and Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father. 3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his children, because he was the son of his old age; and he had made him a long robe with sleeves. 4 But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably to him. 

 

12 Now his brothers went to pasture their father’s flock near Shechem. 13 And Israel said to Joseph, “Are not your brothers pasturing the flock at Shechem? Come, I will send you to them.” He answered, “Here I am.” 14 So he said to him, “Go now, see if it is well with your brothers and with the flock; and bring word back to me.” So he sent him from the valley of Hebron.

He came to Shechem, 15 and a man found him wandering in the fields; the man asked him, “What are you seeking?” 16 “I am seeking my brothers,” he said; “tell me, please, where they are pasturing the flock.” 17 The man said, “They have gone away, for I heard them say, ‘Let us go to Dothan.’ ” So Joseph went after his brothers, and found them at Dothan. 18 They saw him from a distance, and before he came near to them, they conspired to kill him. 19 They said to one another, “Here comes this dreamer. 20 Come now, let us kill him and throw him into one of the pits; then we shall say that a wild animal has devoured him, and we shall see what will become of his dreams.” 21 But when Reuben heard it, he delivered him out of their hands, saying, “Let us not take his life.” 22 Reuben said to them, “Shed no blood; throw him into this pit here in the wilderness, but lay no hand on him”—that he might rescue him out of their hand and restore him to his father. 23 So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe, the long robe with sleeves that he wore; 24 and they took him and threw him into a pit. The pit was empty; there was no water in it. 

 

25 Then they sat down to eat; and looking up they saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead, with their camels carrying gum, balm, and resin, on their way to carry it down to Egypt. 26 Then Judah said to his brothers, “What profit is it if we kill our brother and conceal his blood? 27 Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and not lay our hands on him, for he is our brother, our own flesh.” And his brothers agreed. 28 When some Midianite traders passed by, they drew Joseph up, lifting him out of the pit, and sold him to the Ishmaelites for twenty pieces of silver. And they took Joseph to Egypt. 

 

The Jacob Chronicles begin with the next generation. The stories of this family are engaging, not merely because they are sacred stories, but because this extended family has so many problems. They fight, they become violent, they cheat each other, they make up and they fall in love. One would think that things would improve from one generation to the next, but that is not the case. Today’s narrative focuses not on Jacob, but on his children, in particular his son Joseph. Joseph, (the younger brother) was an unlikable dreamer. He was a tattletale and the favored child. In short: he was a pain for his brothers. 

 

Today, I want to retell the story, using a rhetorical reporting device, similar to what I used in the first sermon of this series. Then (2) I will draw some insights from the story, and finally (3) attempt to see how this chronicle bears upon our current age.

I

In the first Jacob Chronicle, I envisioned them visiting a family therapist, and I read her report. Today, a generation later, we might imagine this family back in therapy. Here is what the report might say:

 

“Case 37128:

After processing intake information from the Jacobson family, these are my findings: This family is as large and complex as the root system of Aspen trees. The patriarch of the family, Jacob, is wealthy enough to have two wives -- Leah and Rachel -- and two consorts, Bilha and Zilpah. He has children with all four of the women and this is the source of a great deal of the family conflict.

 

The children of the wives (Rachel and Leah) believe themselves to be superior to the children of Bilha and Zilpah, although all the children enjoy legal status as children of Jacob.

 

The family conflict is further heightened by Jacob’s poor parenting skills. He plays favorites and the competition for his attention, affection and blessing continues among all twelve sons.

“Jacob himself is an interesting study. His wife Rachel died during the birth of Benjamin, their youngest son. Although this happened several years ago, Jacob is still suffering from inexhaustible grief. It is apparent that Rachel was his true love, and this affection is now lavished on the children he had with her, particularly Benjamin and Joseph. The favoritism he shows toward Joseph in particular is the root of the current conflict because it is overt. Although he has moments of insight about the limitations of Joseph, Jacob continues to favor him. The current symbol of his favoritism is that he purchased an expensive and unique robe for Joseph. This was an excessively extravagant gift that continues to cause strife for the family.

 

Ironically, I discovered that Jacob himself is no stranger to parental favoritism as he was his mother’s darling. He also said that it was clear his brother Esau was his father’s favorite. This was the cause of a major conflict in his family of origin. He did indicate, however, that, after many years, he reconciled with his brother Esau.

 

“The family conflict is currently compounded by two additional factors. First, the immaturity of Joseph. He is aware of his favorite status, and rather than play it down, he flaunts it. He wears the dazzling robe constantly thus adding fuel to the fire of his siblings’ jealousy. Joseph’s arrogance is compounded by his willingness to report his brother’s misdeeds to his father. Joseph takes great delight in “tattling” and that serves to reinforce his inflated sense of self.

“Second, his brothers, though not without their squabbles, have joined together in a united front against him. These two factors came to a head in the tragedy that is the cause of the family’s need for therapeutic intervention.

 

“After years of Jacob’s obvious favoritism for Joseph, his brothers finally reached a breaking point and attempted to get rid of him. They sold Joseph to slave traders, and his whereabouts are unknown at this time.

 

The brothers conspired together and came up with a story and fake evidence that their father Jacob still believes that Joseph was killed by an animal. This compounded Jacob’s grief. One brother, Reuben (the oldest) confided that he tried to stop his other siblings. He expressed some guilt about the situation, but the truth is he ultimately participated in the scheme.

 

“In conclusion: this family demonstrates a great deal of dysfunction. Pathology is rampant: tattling, favoritism, unresolved and misdirected grief, anger, and abuse. This is sibling rivalry run amok. The family is left with a broken and grieving father, Jacob, a guilty older brother, and other siblings who believe they were justified for the grievous actions they took. Their tale is tragic and unfortunately shows little possibility of a viable resolution.”


Some of you may be watching the TV dramatic series Succession.  It is in its final season (I managed to watch only the first), but the plot line is similar.  A pathological family situation that focuses on who will be the inheritor of the family name and power. I believe that this is an archetype that plays out again and again.  It is what makes for popular TV shows.  It is why the stories of Jacob, and his family are captivating. 

 

Apart from the psychological dynamics and dysfunction, this story offers us a fascinating insight into family process and the work of God. 

 

First, custom and tradition were disregarded in the family dynamics. Middle Eastern tradition dictated that the oldest male should become the family leader. You might recall that this was also reversed in the first chronicle when Jacob stole the blessing and birthright. Jacob in turn favored his youngest children, especially Joseph. The implications of this are revolutionary! In the ancient cultures where custom prescribed authority and power, this story was subversive. It reversed an oppressive hierarchy. Indeed, it offers a foretaste of the teachings of Jesus, “the last shall be first and the first last.”

 

Second. This story is important to the Hebrew people because it tells how they came to dwell in Egypt. The story is a complete literary unit, (chapters 37-45).  I encourage you to read it on your own. 

 

Third, the story solidifies Jacob's importance in the Old Testament. His 12 sons become the patriarchs of the twelve tribes of Israel.  (6 were with Leah, 2 with Bilhah, 2 with Zilpah, and 2 with Rachel).  1 in 8000!!  

 

Despite these narrative features, this is, I believe, the most troubling story in the Jacob Chronicles.  

 

First, although we have moved on to a new generation, nothing changed.  In fact, things seem to have worsened.  Jacob, like his father Isaac, plays favorites among his children. The two children he had with Rachel, Joseph and Benjamin, are favored over the other children.  While we don’t know too much about Benjamin, Joseph glories in being the favorite son and flaunts the symbol of it, a fancy robe, in front of his brothers.  He behaves in almost the same manner as his father Jacob did. He tattles on his brothers who were born of the servants Bilhah and Zilpah. How arrogant and self-righteous! 

 

He also engenders a similar reaction, not from one brother, but from ten brothers!  The text states that “they hated him.” They want to get rid of him and they do!  At first they conspire to kill him, but then persuaded by Reuben, they just throw him in a pit. They sell him to slave traders and then concoct a story that he was killed by a wild animal.  Joseph, like his father begins the rest of his life in a strange country.  This is cruelty to the tenth power!  From generation to generation, nothing changes in this family! 

 

Second:  this narrative is troubling because of all the loose ends that are not resolved.  We don’t know what will happen to Joseph.  Poor Jacob, overcome with grief about the loss of the love of his life, Rachel, has his sorrow compounded by the loss of his favorite child.  One wonders if he really believed the story that his other sons told him.  He had no proof, no corpse, nothing that would satisfy that he really lost his son to an attacking beast.  

 

But there are other loose ends.  What happened to the fancy robe?  We know that Reuben, the older brother, had second thoughts about the whole situation, but how did the other brothers feel?  Were their consciences bothering them?  Did they lose sleep over this?  Did they ever wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what happened to their brother, Joseph? 

And Reuben:  he showed remorse early on. Did that guilt trouble him at length, or did it dissipate?  Did he “get over” it?  

 

There are so many lose ends to this narrative and it begs for resolution. 

Third, from our perspective within the Christian community, we wonder “where is the grace” in this narrative? What good will come from it?  It feels like a unredeemed tragedy.  Yet it is an utterly human story, a family tragedy, that is not hard to believe.  But we also want to believe that there is some good news in this story….in much the same way we want to believe that there is grace and good news in our lives. 

III

What does this teach us today?

Jeremiah, in his prophecy of the “new covenant” stated that:

“The parents have eaten sour grapes,
    and the children’s teeth are set on edge.”

In other words, what one generation does is not determinative for the next.  The generational cycles of dysfunction would be negated by the new covenant.  That is at the heart of the gospel… a new beginning! A reset of the relationship between humanity and the divine!  But we still seem to be living with and experiencing the reality of the generations.   

 

There is a commercial that seems be flooding our TV channels lately.  It features Rick, a fictional character appearing in advertisements for an insurance company. He is a self-help coach who helps new homeowners keep from "turning into" their parents.  I find it to be an irritating advertisement because it touches a sensitive part of me.  I often hear my parents speaking in some of the things I say.  I use some of their expressions.  I have some of their interesting mannerisms and habits.  

 

Murray Bowen, one of the pioneers of family systems therapy, posited that each generation has a systemic impact upon subsequent generations.  Karen and I often joke that our parenting has not done anything to our daughter that 10 years of psychotherapy will not undo.  I saw a cartoon recently. The caption read: “Annual Meeting of Adult Children of Normal Families.” It pictured a large auditorium. with about three or four people seated.  

 

We should not be surprised that nothing seems to change from one generation to the next in Jacob’s family…. Or in ours.  The important question is will this cycle be broken?  How will Jacob’s family (and ours) move beyond the inherited baggage of previous generations.   From this perspective, the Jacob Chronicles are contemporary narratives and we can often see parts of our family in their lives.    

 

This is why I love the Old Testament stories: All of us live with family secrets. During the 80's and 90's it was fashionable to claim and own our family dysfunction. All of us are human and our families are usually flawed and most of them could be described as dysfunctional.... 

 

This chronicle suggests that our families of origin often explain some of our behavior and the way we think and do things... but it is not an excuse! It is an explanation. We read that Jacob eventually took responsibility for his behavior. We anticipate the Joseph will also. This tells you and me that we may come from mixed up, crazy and even abusive families... but the very nature of maturing and growing is to grow away from that, to resist taking our identity and our destiny from our dysfunctional history. 

 

The unfinished nature of today’s story is bothersome. But it rings with reality. Joseph became a slave in Egypt; his brothers sold him out and convinced their father Jacob, that he was dead. Jacob was in pain with grief... and the story probably ended there for that family for a long time.

We live with loose ends:

·      We live with conjecture about what happened;

·      We live with pain and grief are the realities of life.

·      Closure is a luxury that we don't always have.

·      There are times when we are left with pain, brokenness, and sorrow: pieces that don’t seem to fit.

·      There are things that we don't understand.

·      We live with many things that feel incomplete.

That does not mean that God has abandoned us. It means that the story is not yet complete. The apostle Paul put this so succinctly in First Corinthians (13): “Now I see in a mirror dimly, then I shall see face to face... now I know in part, then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood.”   

 

Your story and my story are unfinished.  There are loose ends and pieces that do not fit in our lives.  We live with nagging questions that are unanswered.  Indeed, we see life, our own lives, in a mirror dimly. But we live with the promise that we shall at last see face to face.  We shall know at last, what we only partially know. Completion, resolution, closure is the promise of the gospel….  And we shall even be fully understood…. And loved for eternity.

 

Today’s narrative screams for completion.  It makes us uncomfortable.  We want resolution, indeed closure.  Next week, our chronicles will conclude. Ultimately, in God's time the loose ends are bound....

In the meantime, we live by grace:

·      a grace that enables us to thrive amidst lies, confusion, mixed motivations, greed, hate and animosity.

·      a grace that enables us to live with all the pieces that do not fit in the jigsaw puzzle that is life;

·      a grace that calls us as God's own, partners in redemption;

·      a grace that never sells us out. rather it frees us to live.


This is the Good News. Amen.

 

 

The Jacob Chronicles 4: A Homecoming

 

The Jacob Chronicles: A Homecoming

A Sermon by Brent J. Eelman

 

Genesis 32: 22-32

22 The same night he got up and took his two wives, his two maids, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 He took them and sent them across the stream, and likewise everything that he had. 24 Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob's hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. 26 Then he said, "Let me go, for the day is breaking." But Jacob said, "I will not let you go, unless you bless me." 27 So he said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob." 28 Then the man said, "You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed." 29 Then Jacob asked him, "Please tell me your name." But he said, "Why is it that you ask my name?" And there he blessed him. 30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, "For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved." 31 The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. 32 Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the thigh muscle that is on the hip socket, because he struck Jacob on the hip socket at the thigh muscle

 

Matthew 10:34-39

34 "Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; 36 and one's foes will be members of one's own household. 37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38 and whoever does not take up the cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it. 

 

I can still hear the voice of my college Phys-Ed instructor: "Eelman-you've got a lot of fights ahead of you." The occasion for those words was a wrestling match. My college required 4 semesters of Physical Education.  I signed up for a semester of badminton and volleyball, but something happened in the registration process.  The class was full and I ended up in a section called gymnastics and wrestling.  Wrestling!! 

 

Consequently, for two months I learned about wrestling. Then came the final exam: a wrestling match!  I'll never forget that day when the matches were announced at the beginning of class. I was to wrestle this guy who looked like Attila the Hun. He was one of these individuals who shaved twice a day, and no one ever saw him smile. He was built like a fireplug, and he was tough. I, by contrast, stood 6-4 and weighed all of one hundred and sixty-five pounds. My nickname was “bonez,” and at that moment, I lived in fear of breaking a couple.   (Bonez… a high caloric diet in later life enabled me to grow out of that nickname!) 

 

I begged and pleaded with that instructor. "Please, don't make me go out there and wrestle this guy...I'll get killed!" I then resorted to my ultimate verbal weapon: "I came to college to be minister. This isn't relevant!" 

 

With sadistic glee, the instructor replied, "Eelman, you don't think you will face opponents in the ministry? You've got a lot of fights ahead of you." I went out to the match and wrestled for three minutes. I hung on for dear life.

I would like to say that I triumphed that day and pinned my opponent.  But, this is not a sermon about David and Goliath.  No… I did not win, but my shoulders never touched the mat. (a moral victory?).

It has been over 50 years since that day, but his words are still vivid. He was right. There have been many wrestling matches in my life, and they make my opponent that day seem quite benign. The matches I have faced have been:

·      gut-wrenching decisions,

·      problematic issues,

·      and larger than life opponents.

·      The biggest opponent was coming to grips with who I am in relationship to God: my calling, and the direction my life was to take.  This opponent has grappled with me at many times in my life.

·      These are the big wrestling matches in our lives.

 

It is from this perspective that we need to view the next chapter in the Jacob Chronicles.

When Jesus uttered those troubling words: "I have not come to bring peace but a sword." He was speaking about this type of encounter. Today, I want to look at this disquieting sword as it entered Jacob's life, and also ours.  First, telling the story in an interpretive manner. Then I will draw some conclusions for our day.

I

Jacob, the future patriarch of the Hebrew nation, experienced the sword of which Jesus spoke. Jacob could well be our contemporary. He might be an executive, a teacher,  a salesperson, a banker, or broker. He was a bright, busy, and very successful person. He was, by all apparent standards, a success. He had it made. He had done well in life, and he wanted to return home. He was on his way home with his wives, his twelve children, and all his possessions. He was probably eager to show the relatives back home that he had done well. He was not a prodigal son returning home for food, No! Jacob returned home as a worldly success. He could point to all the visible symbols of his life: his wives, his children, his herds, his servants, his possessions. This was the evidence that he had it made. 

 

In his mind there was only one confrontation left, and that was Esau. Jacob was smart and sure of himself. He had finessed Esau a number of times, and he could do it one more time. Perhaps he had the words already in his head, what he would say when he, at last, saw his brother. He knew he could handle even that confrontation. 

 

Perhaps this self-confidence was the reason he sent everything on ahead. He wanted Esau to see all of his stuff: all of his accomplishments. He wanted to send his "resume" ahead, just as one does before a big job interview. Then, as if to savor the moment alone, he lay down on the bank of the River Jabbock and went to sleep. 

 

This was the moment of attack. The ancients believed the rivers possessed demons that attacked humans at night. The book of Genesis says that "a man" wrestled Jacob that evening. Think for one moment. Who was it? 

 

Could it be Esau? Certainly Esau had every reason to attack his brother. Certainly Esau was a threat to Jacob. But it was not Esau. 

 

Was it Laban, his father-in-law? No, there was an uneasy peace between the two. Neither Esau nor Laban represented a threat to Jacob. 

 

Who was it? IT WAS GOD! 

 

Think about Jacob's life until this point. Everything in his life ultimately contributed to his success. In every way Jacob has done well. He had matured and even grown spiritually, but there was one confrontation left, and it wasn’t with Esau. He had to face the truth of himself. His wits and his intellect had held him in good stead, but now he faced the reality of who and what he was: not in the presence of others, but in the presence of God.

This is a wrestling match, indeed, a struggle. It is the same struggle that Jesus brings to our lives when he says that "I have not come to bring peace, but a sword." It is a disquieting struggle that requires us to deal with the reality of who we are and what we are to be. It is about our profession, our calling... indeed, a struggle of the soul.  

 

It is not a “one and done.”  It happens again and again at different times in our lives. 

·      The late Presbyterian pastor, Lewis Joseph Sherrill, authored a book entitled The Struggle of the Soul. In that book he attempted to synthesize the Christian experience of life with developmental psychology.    He posited five developmental phases consisting of:

·      childhood,

·      adolescence,

·      young adulthood,

·      middle adulthood,

·      and senior adulthood.

  

Each phase is precipitated by a crisis (an inner struggle).  Each state has a developmental task.  And if an individual wrestles with the realities of each stage of life with integrity, there is a blessing that it bestows. 

 

Sherrill asserted that the struggles faced within each phase arise out of a need to determine what gives life meaning.  We experience, again and again this divine wrestling match, the struggle for the soul… our soul.

 

Consider Jacob.  He has beaten every earthly foe. He has wrestled with all the people in his life and he has ultimately triumphed. But the stranger by the shore of the river did not allow him to win. Instead, at daybreak, the stranger touched Jacob's thigh, and put it out of joint. Jacob suddenly realized that his opponent could have, (at any time,) won the match. So, Jacob does not let go until he is blessed by the mysterious stranger.  

 

This blessing affirms the blessing that Jacob originally cheated from his brother Esau.

II

Does this struggle seem real to you? It is indeed a fearful one: one that can come upon us at any time.

·  It visits us at times when we think that we have the world by the tail.

·  It is a struggle that forces us to be truthful about ourselves.

·  It is a struggle that creates integrity.

·  It calls us to confront our very soul, our very person.

·  It is then that we see ourselves unmasked before the throne of the Almighty.

 

The struggle can occur at any time.  It is not a “one and done.”  Indeed, sometimes when things are going really well, it literally mugs us. It grabs us and wrestles us to the ground. Read the lives of the great women and men of history:

·  Martin Luther struggled with the meaning of grace and forgiveness, not in terms of impersonal doctrinal theology, but in terms of his own life. He knew well the one with whom Jacob wrestled.

·  The Medieval visionary, Hildegard of Bingen, literally became physically ill as she struggled to communicate the visions that she had of God.

·  The Spanish mystic, St. John of the Cross, spoke of this struggle as the "dark night of the soul."

This struggle has much to teach us, and if we wrestle this opponent with integrity, it offers us a blessing.

 

First, DON'T LET GO!  A while ago, NPR had a show about alligator wrestling.  I recall two statements from that show.  The first was, “It’s not a thinking man’s sport.”  And the second was, “Don’t let go. You won’t get bit if you don’t let go.” 

 

“Don’t let go!” is good advice for us who find ourselves in this divine struggle.  Don’t let go!   (You might recall my first sermon during this sabbatical time, imploring us to let go of the bike…. To paraphrase Ecclesiastes, there is a time to let go… and a time to hang on.  When you are wrestling with the divine… hang on!! Don’t let go!!

 

Hang on to that struggle like Jacob, who hung on to the man by the bank of the river. Don't let go. It is a painful struggle. Jacob went away limping. You too might suffer scars. But there is a blessing in that struggle.

·      It is then that we come face to face with the very being of God.

·      It is then that God's still small voice becomes an unbearable shout.

·      It is the sword that Jesus brings to our lives.

·      It is the sword that disturbs the easy peace, indeed the false peace, which we try and create.

 

If that sword is real for you, if you are intimate with this struggle, hang on and know the love of God: a God who loves us enough to grapple with us, indeed (in the words of the hymn) “a love that will not let us go."

 

Second. There is meaning and purpose to the wounds that often occur in this struggle. The story ends with Jacob limping off to see his brother Esau. He was wounded in the encounter with God.

 

I am coming to believe that many of the important, soul making events in our lives leave wounds. There are tender places in our hearts and souls that even the strongest of us cannot bear to have touched. It is my conviction that these wounds are the portals through which the grace of God enters our lives. The Jacob Chronicles tell us that there is a powerful bond between our blessings and our wounds.

 

Third, it puts all of life's struggles in perspective. There are many things with which we wrestle and fight. We struggle for success. We battle life's opponents and rivals. We struggle with circumstance and coincidence. These struggles are often consuming... but the biggest struggle that we have is the one that Jacob encountered that night.

Life’s biggest battle is the struggle to claim our own soul. It is the struggle to be genuine in the presence of God. A person can win all the battles of life, and still creep like a coward from this encounter.

 

"Eelman, you have more fights in the future." Truer words could not have been spoken, and some of my foes make my opponent that day seem like a teddy bear. You, too, have many matches ahead. Believe me when I state, that these struggles contain the promise of a blessing.

Jacob wondered who his opponent was that evening. But when it was all over, he knew.  The blessing that his father Isaac gave him was now a reality in the blessing from this powerful stranger… God (who often is a stranger to us!). The name, Peniel, indicates that he wrestled with God. If you are struggling with something painful. If you are struggling with a reality that you cannot identify but seems real nonetheless; wonder not who your opponent is. Hang on! Christ's sword may have pierced your life.

 

Hang on. Now his peace and rest will also become real. This is the good news. Amen.

The Jacob Chronicles 3: A Love Story

 

The Jacob Chronicles: A Love Story

The third in a series by Brent J. Eelman

 

Genesis 29: 15-28

15 Then Laban said to Jacob, “Because you are my kinsman, should you therefore serve me for nothing? Tell me, what shall your wages be?” 16 Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. 17 Leah’s eyes were lovely, and Rachel was graceful and beautiful. 18 Jacob loved Rachel; so he said, “I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel.” 19 Laban said, “It is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to any other man; stay with me.” 20 So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.


21 Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife that I may go in to her, for my time is completed.” 22 So Laban gathered together all the people of the place, and made a feast. 23 But in the evening he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob; and he went in to her. 24 (Laban gave his maid Zilpah to his daughter Leah to be her maid.) 25 When morning came, it was Leah! And Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me?” 26 Laban said, “This is not done in our country—giving the younger before the firstborn. 27 Complete the week of this one, and we will give you the other also in return for serving me another seven years.” 28 Jacob did so, and completed her week; then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel as a wife.

 

The Jacob Chronicles are six scenes in the life of a man whom God chose: Jacob, the son of Isaac. They are the stories of his journey. It is not merely journey overland, it is a spiritual journey: a journey of encounter, a journey of change, a journey that leads to maturation. Ultimately is the story of God, working in the life of an individual, molding, shaping, changing a human soul through encounters, dreams, and circumstances. 

 

Today's chronicle is a love story, but the themes of change, spiritual growth and maturity are still present. In this message I will:

1.    1.  Retell this love story within its ancient context.
2. Comment on some of the interesting dynamics that are occurring and 3

3. Glean from the story particular lessons for our modern age.

I

The story begins with Jacob on the run. He was running from his brother Esau who had threatened to kill him. Jacob cheated Esau and stole his birthright and the blessing that was due him. He was also running to the land of his mother's ancestors. Rebecca, his mother, was always looking out for him because he was her favorite. 

 

Being “the favorite” is not easy. Favorite sons often have a great deal of difficulty sustaining relationships. More often than not, mom does not think that any woman is good enough for her son and that is both a powerful and coercive influence. Rebecca wanted to make sure that her son Jacob married the right person and her biggest fear was that he would marry one of the local Hittite women. 

 

She whined to Isaac: “If Jacob marries one of these Hittite women, what good will my life be to me.” Isaac, concurred and the blessing that he bestowed on Jacob included an admonition to travel to his uncle’s house. He told Jacob that his uncle Laban had two daughters’ worthy of marriage. 

 

You will recall that on that journey Jacob experienced two of the three events that break down egocentricity and contribute to the spiritual growth of a person:

(1) suffering in the wilderness.

(2) the encounter with a higher power.


Now he was about to experience the third: love and intimacy with another person.

He was living in the land of his Uncle Laban. While fetching water at a well, he suddenly beheld Rachel. She was keeping her father's sheep and it was love at first sight! He fell in love with her, and we might assume that she also fell in love with him. If there was music playing in the background of this story, it would be a light, playful melody that literally dances in one's hearing. Under the spell of his love for Rachel he entered a deal with his Uncle Laban. He would work for Laban for 7 years. After that period Laban would give him Rachel as a bride. 

 

This was not the first time we have witnessed Jacob strike a bargain. We saw him bargain with Esau and with his father. Both times Jacob dealt from a position of strength, usually reinforced by his own cunning and deceit. But this time was different. He was bargaining with Laban while under the spell of love. He met his match in Laban. We should be shocked at the deal that Jacob struck. He agreed to work for seven years for Laban for the privilege of marrying Rachel. This was not slavery. Jacob entered the deal voluntarily and at any point would be able to vacate it. But it was drastically different than his previous bargains. This deal was completely out of character! One wonders why he didn't just steal Rachel and elope with her. Would that not be consistent with character? Yet under the spell of love, he agreed to serve Laban for seven years. 

 

Ah, the power of romantic love! We read those seven years “seemed like only a few days.”

But Laban tricked him. On the day after his wedding night, Jacob realized that he married Leah, the older sister. The “chickens came home to roost.” The description of Leah is not as bad as some have made her out to be, but she was not the one whom Jacob loved. In anger he went to Laban and agreed to work for seven more years. Seven days later Rachel was given in marriage to him. So in the space of one week, Jacob had two wives. Our love story ends somewhat happily.

II

But there were some interesting internal dynamics that occurred in this story: Jacob’s transformation and growth. Last week I quoted the late John Sanford, an Episcopalian priest and psychologist. He wrote that there are three things which change a human being: (Sanford, John. The Man Who Wrestled With God, 1987, Paulist Press. p. 22.)

(1) suffering,
(2) the encounter with a higher power, and
(3) coming to care for someone other than one’s self.

In Rachel, Jacob cared for someone other than himself, and thus the trinity of transformation was fulfilled in his journey. 

 

Under the spell of love, he made a surprising bargain. Jacob had not distinguished himself as someone who was willing to work very hard. He was lazy and shifty and when things got rough, he ran. But in the grip of love, he agreed to work for seven years! One of the markers of maturity is the ability to delay gratification. There was no desire for immediate gratification here.

Let me digress for a second to comment on Romantic love. It is a wonderful thing, but it has a way of altering our reasoning ability. It is a passive state of being. We say that a person is “in love.” It takes no effort to fall in love. It is one of the miracles of our creation. Yet, romantic love has a way of distorting reality, and often we see in the other person perfection. Romantic love puts its object on a pedestal. Everything seems right about that person and the relationship feels perfect. That is the power of romantic love. Underneath all the poetry and music of romantic love is the power of projection. Often the object of romantic love is merely an extension of one's self. In a culture, like ours, which holds romantic love as an ideal, such a view creates difficulties for relationships, because romance ultimately wanes. This crisis can be creative, because the couple is challenged to move from being “in love” to actively loving each other. 

 

There is no doubt that Jacob was in love. His reality was distorted, consequently he agreed to Laban’s deal. But all of this was tempered by the seven years of labor. 

 

One of the ways to tell if someone loves another and is not merely under the spell of romance is the willingness to work for the other. The ancient custom of willingly giving labor for a period of time to earn the right to marry was psychologically healthy. It also broke down broke down egotism and selfishness and prepared an individual for a relationship with another. For Jacob it meant there were individuals who were more important than he was. This acknowledgement is the foundation of spiritual and psychological maturity. “It is not all about me.”

Jacob worked seven years... and then seven more.

III

This love story has many lessons to offer: I will suggest three.

1.    In this story of Jacob and Rachel, romance is tempered by the willingness to work. Good relationships and marriages are not merely about romance. Their foundation is an active love that is willing to work for and with the beloved.

I believe that the seven years of labor is more than symbolic. Romantic love, which is often characterized by urgency, is tempered by this seven-year bargain. One would think that at some time during those seven years Jacob might rethink the bargain that he made. He didn’t! This was part of his transformation. He worked for seven years to be united with the one he loved.

The social customs of the ancient world handled a crisis for which couples are often unprepared today. Often after a period of time, (seven years?) romance fades. The drug of love wears off like Novocain on a tooth. This often produces a crisis, but it is a crisis with a remarkable opportunity. When one is no longer under the spell of romantic love, one begins to actively love another. Loving requires effort, and cannot be passive. It is then that we recognize the other as a real human being. It is then that we learn to both apologize and forgive with integrity. This is the foundation of active loving.

  1. The power of love and the work of actively loving add a different dimension to the relationship of marriage. Marriage is not merely for companionship or the raising of children. A committed relationship is a gift that has the power to transform and contribute to the emotional and spiritual growth of an individual. Jesus, when he spoke of marriage, concurred with the writer of the creation story that individuals leave the homes of their parents and live together in marriage. If one does this with integrity, one leaves the comfort zone of family and experiences the intensity of a domestic relationship. This type has the power to transform an individual.
  2. We live with the power of many myths. One of the pervasive ones in relationships is that we “can change” the other person. We need to examine this carefully. Jacob changed, but it was neither Rachel nor Leah that changed him. It was his own willingness to work that was transforming agent. Jacob actively participated in his own transformation and maturation. This is the miracle of love!

 

The story of Jacob and Rachel is one of the few love stories in the Bible. It is a beautiful account of romance. If we were to read further, we would discover that Jacob's relationship with these two women was anything but marital bliss. It was complex and trying... and yet he was prepared for it... by working seven years for another person... Seven years of caring without immediate gratification. After fourteen years of living with Laban, Jacob would grow and change. He would still be Jacob, and still possess the wit and the opportunism of his youth, but he would become a softer, wiser, mature individual.... 

 

But the chronicles of his life do not end there... he has unfinished business waiting at home... Esau is still there. The good news in this story is that God is active in the life of Jacob, but also ours. The love that changed Jacob is a love that still exists and it has the same power to enable individuals to grow spiritually, if they are willing to work. This is the Good News. Amen.